So Sunday, i grabbed the squirt and went to Disney with his BFF and his BFF’s  mom(who just started her own blog!–hi Yas!). Since we dwell in Los Angeles, having a season pass to Disney just makes sense. And with the Guest Assistance Pass–it really IS the happiest place on earth.

Aside from my sore tootsies and aching hips (seriously, when did i turn into an old woman?) Sunday was an AMAZING day–and its not often you can say that about an amusement park. Usually we all bring back horror stories of rude folks, bad corn dogs and rabid plush characters. NO? Just me then. But sunday was good. We were able to park hop, ride new rides for both Ben and myself, laugh, eat churros and walk away from the day without a sunburn.

We had to wait in some lines–we were not the ONLY ones with Guest assistance passes that day–but Ben was a real trooper and waited them out without one fuss. Ok, some minor fuss–but he *IS * 4. And he greeted people, talked A LOT, and seemed to have a genuinely good time. My phone unfortunately went dead before the day was out, so some of the best pics didn’t get taken (except in my heart—awwwww *gag*), but i can vouch for a happy child come the end of the day. Even without a nap.

But i must say, the thing that really struck me about the day was the number of similar parents we met that day.

Benji's BFF & Ben peeking over the rail

Background–if you have a special needs child, or the inability to stand in line for hours at a time (say, because of a broken ankle or chronic but necessary inebriation), you can go to City Hall at Disney and request a Guest Assisstance Pass. You don’t need their diagnosis or IEP–although you do need your kid if its for him/her. You tell them your issue and boom, they fill out the pass. This pass then gives you the right to use the handicapped entrance–or (as we found out) the fastpass entrance. It doesn’t mean immediate access–but it DOES mean not standing in a crowded stinky line with an autistic toddler. Yes–you CAN get looks from folks. Fuck them.

Anyway, standing in the alternate accces lines sometimes allows you to meet other autie parents. Sunday i discussed alternate entrances (sometimes they’re tricky and hidden) noise canceling headphones–and try them!–and how many times we’ve steamed aroudn the park on the disney railroad. (what IS it about Auties and trains?) I even got to educate a lady who was not having a good day. I was waiting by the exit of the bumper car ride at CA adventure–this is the one downfall to the pass–sometimes you really have to holler at the operators to get them to notice you. And i will say the operators over at a Bugs Life tend to be a little…blind and kinda snooty. Anyhell, after i got his attention, this lady eyed the pass and asked me for the 411. Her eyes widened as i told her what was up and she said– “i always send him in with his brothers and make him wait. And we NEVER get to go on the bigger rides.” See, her boy has Aspergers and a day at Disney could be a real trial for him, and the family. So i gave her the complete lowdown, then we spent a good 5 minutes disparaging the LAUSD school district, and talked about trains before Ben & I were off to wreak havoc in the bumper car ring. I may have made that lady’s day. And that boy’s brothers no doubt.

Of course we are not the only ones in the alternate access line. There are also the poor saps that broke their leg/ankle/funnybone a few days ago but still decided to come to disney. I didnt’ say much to them because either they were just miserable, or they were coked up on painkillers and didn’t need my satire.

And then there were the scooter people.

I know–some people need those damn motorized demon trolleys.  They’ve got the monkeypox or what-have-you and really cannot be on their feet for more than a few minutes.  But they just had to watch their darling grandgoblins get horked up on sugar and chronic mousey choreography. Isn’t Piper just adorable. Look how she’s getting everyone attention by refusing to sit down and protesting violently?

Yeah–imma go there. there was ONE negative about sunday. ONE. Ben and another little girl IN A WHEELCHAIR damn near got ran over by one of these “too *cough* diet challenged *cough* to walk around” scooter-jocks because he wanted to get around me. One of those situations that I haven’t decided if it was good ro bad that my husband wasn’t with us. Ok, maybe he had some sort of condition that doesn’t allow him to walk which lead to the weight gain. Sure. That doesn’t explain the utter disregard for people around him, the elitist attitude that it was OUR job to get out of HIS way, or the fact that he didn’t even stop to apologize.

little Suzie Lou in a WHEELCHAIR, dude.

those scooter jocks are rude mother fuckers. yeah? I said it. And maybe it WAS your grandma i cussed out over by space mountain. What?

But anyway, that was one moment out of a million. There were plenty of moments that MORE than made up for it. example: We got into Star Tours in 10 minutes. 15 tops. Yeah, some people never got on yesterday, and other poor bastards had to wait in the line. But then they go home to their typical lives where their only worry is keeping Ginger off the pole and Darwood off the neighbor’s daughter. So, no. I don’t feel guilty. Ok, maybe a little.

Scooter grannies aside, we had our share of awesome memories. And churros. Ok, maybe more than our share. Its ok–the 11 hours of walking MORE than made up for the calories. At least enough to keep me from renting a scooter.

Categories: Uncategorized | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “Community

  1. I’m with ya on some of those scooter people. They are the SUV owners of the pedestrian world. We had one in the store last night who yelled and cussed out one of my friends because he couldn’t read his mind. On the bright side, glad it was a wonderful day. 😀 Wish I could have been there! How did he like Star Tours?

    • he held my hand VERY tightly and refused to wear the glasses–but he did not protest and i think he enjoyed watching C3PO (we were in the front row)

  2. Christ, like I’m not homesick enough. You and your fabulous Disneyland stories, full of magic and sparkle, makes me get all misty eyed.

    Imma gonna go stab people til I find a churro now.

    • just make sure you don’t stab the churro guy.

      wait–aren’t you in TX? You dont have churros? are Republicans against them or something? 😉

  3. That fat old scooter gut was a BASTARD! He never apoligized to that little girl in the “NON-MOTORIZED” wheelchair. Fucker!
    Besides that, we had a GREAT TIME! ❤ ❤ ❤

  4. Pingback: Blog Gems « This Side of Typical

  5. Sounds exhausting but fun!

    Visiting from Blog Gems

  6. Thanks do much for linking up with Blog Gems and sharing this today. I remember reading about this last time, wishing we could get to Florida or Cali as a family and do the Disney thing before they get too old for it. The autism pass program makes it seem do-able.

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