Hater Humpday #8

Last weekend, i was driving the family to some damn event and my Old Man and i were blathering on about nothing in particular when the subject of feminism came up.  (i know, right?) I believe i was regaling him with some story about some sort of jackassery overheard a while back that is still in my craw.

You see, it has been the excuse of men through the centuries, to say that men are weak and women are good–therefore it is OUR responsibility, as women,  to maintain control because men can’t.  Men are pigs.  Stinky, rooting about, wallowing in filth, eating whatever is thrown at them, swine.

But what gets under my skin is that WE as women are somehow responsible for their lack of control–that it is for women to sacrifice for the sake of peace.

ANd i call bullshit.

As a student of religion, i have heard and reheard this argument over and over.  This is why we sit in a different part of the synagogue or mosque, why we are not necessarily members of the leadership–because (and i love this one) we are somehow CLOSER TO GOD because we give birth, blah blah blah.

Again, bullshit.

[now, before certain of you jump into my shit–yes, birth is miraculous and life changing/affirming.  I am in no way denying that.  Keep yer knickers on]

Now, i’m not gonna take to task the historical underlying messages here–and they are numerous, from trying to control female sexuality, assuring paternity, and keeping other cavemen off yer women .  I am simply going to take this one argument to task.  If men are pigs, why are we(as women) punished for it?

Now–to keep the possible rising testosterone at bay, let me point out a few things–or rather what i am NOT talking about.  I am NOT talking about dressing like a skank and going into a men’s lockeroom after a game and expecting men to act like complete gentlemen.  (even though i would expect my son to act like one ALWAYS, but that is a matter of upbriging and social acceptance, and i am not about to take on that turkey just yet).  I recognize the difference between being provocative and self-preservation.  That’s not feminism–that’s survival.


For men to feel they have some sort of free pass to say inappropriate things to women they don’t know, and that we have to “accept” it becuase of previous swine references, is the most ludicrous things i’ve ever heard, and makes me kinda stabby.

That blame is placed on women most of the time in any sort of “scandal” involving a celebrity, makes me wanna cut a bitch. (yes–i agree, some of them are skanks.  But what BUGS me is that that title is given before evidence is produced)

That somehow it shows a woman’s good breeding if she silently supports her philadering husband instead of getting pissed–which she has every right to do–makes me wanna write angry letters.  Ok–that might be understating it a bit–but you understand me here.

Everytime it falls on women to make the sacrifice, or show control or be held back because men lack self control.  And it gets under my skin like chiggers.

So while i was ranting on about this travesty–this injustice–my husband (a man’s man in every detail) came up with the perfect solution:  If men cannot control themselves, then they are not allowed to carry guns.  Only women can.

The simplicity of this plan almost made me weep.

For a man to use a gun, he had to have permission from the female keeper of guns in his life.  THat means in the heat of an argument or fight, he has to ask his wife/girlfriend/mama to get her gun out of her purse in order to use it.

it would be the end of war.

Now, of course, i’m not denying that there are some crazy bitches out there that would take this too far and go on a shooting rampage at the local Piggly Wiggly, but for the most part, this seems like a solid plan.

Except for the part where Sarah Palin would still have a gun, but no plan is without flaws…

Categories: Uncategorized | 9 Comments

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9 thoughts on “Hater Humpday #8

  1. All I can say is “great post” because I could comment forever on this topic. Religion, an age-old, man-made tool devised to keep the masses and, especially women, controlled and subjugated. There, that ought to be enough to piss a lot of people off.

    • well, God based religions anyway. Goddess culture did a better job, IMO, of keeping a balance….

  2. Bonnie

    Well, you can eliminate the Sarah Palin problem by making it so that only women with souls can have them.

  3. The Old Man


  4. I could go on forever in praise and support of this post, but I will simply say Rock On, Sista!

    That is all.

  5. Well someone has to take the blame and most men think it’s beneath them or a sign of weakness to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Heaven forbid they come off looking like a schlub. If Chaz did something like that, well, you know me. Hide the knives cuz someone is gonna get hurt and it’s not me.

    Give the Old Man a pat on the back for that great plan of his. He gets brownie points for that one.

  6. Candice

    If men are pigs, why are women punished for it? It sure may seem that way at first, but I think it is shorter lived. At least that has been my experience. After being with my first husband for about 15 years (married for 11 of those years), it ended because of his cheating. Our highly planned children were only 2 and 4 years old. I felt devistated, punished, depressed, swallowed up by a black hole while he lived it up with no responsibilities. Why was I being punished for him being being the pig? I had done nothing wrong and yet I was hurting so much. Fast forward to present day, I am remarried to wonderful man, I have a better home and family than I had with husband number one, I’m financially secure, I have another child. I wake up and pinch myself every morning because I just could not be happier and want to make sure I’m not dreaming. My ex-husband continues to be in constant turmoil, married and divorced again and again, financial ruin, total unhappiness. My current husband believes the Bible is God’s word. We attend a church where both male and female pastors serve and learn many beautiful things from them all. I do not take other’s interpretation of the Bible as law. I read it for myself. I do not follow a religion. I follow God. I enjoy the biblical stories where God used women to change lives and change nations just as much as the stories where He used men to do the same. One part of the Bible I won’t try to overanalyze (for obvious reasons) is the verse somewhere it Proverbs my husband believes and practices. It goes something like, “A man’s greatest treasure is his wife—she is a gift from the LORD.” This works for me. Wouldn’t 99.9% of marital problems be solved if husbands saw their wives as GIFTS! Jassassery will only get a dude so far before the smack down comes. So my advice to ladies who feel the need to “control their men” is STEP ASIDE. Let them go and let the SMACK DOWN begin. While you’re waiting, you can still grab your gun and go fire off a few rounds in the woods…for target practice…in case during the smack down he tries crawling back to you. 😉

    • Candice–what i’m referring to here is the societal idea that it is a woman’s job to make sacrifice because men can’t control themselves. I’m not saying women need to control men–I’ve got enough on my plate, thank you. I’m just taking to task the faulty logic that it is a woman’s job to control herself, but that men don’t have to. I’m not saying men can’t control themselves–many men do–yours and my husbands included. But this reasoning has been used throughout history to keep women subjugated and segregated. THere are plenty of examples out there of various religions using these ideas to keep women “in their place” I’m not saying its all religions, because obviously there are groups that do not follow these antiquated ideas.

      But lets take this away from religion to a topic more dramatic. Women who have been raped are STILL questioned about their moral character and whether or not they “asked for it”–maybe not by the police–but certainly by society. Look at any story about a rich & powerful man who got caught–the media will look for any flaw in the woman’s character and use it against her. And i don’t care if she is the skankiest ho on this side of the mississippi–rape is rape, and no one deserves it. But until our society recognizes that men seem to have a free ride when it comes to piggish behavior, its not going to change. All i’m saying is that if women have to control themselves, then men should too. period. No free rides because of testicles.

      That verse from proverbs is also a favorite–and is recited every sabbath in a Jewish household. Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies.prov. 31:10. But can i just say–it’s my belief that it is a woman’s responsibility to establish her own virtue–and not a man to enforce it. otherwise, can it really be called virtue?

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