Last weekend, i was driving the family to some damn event and my Old Man and i were blathering on about nothing in particular when the subject of feminism came up. (i know, right?) I believe i was regaling him with some story about some sort of jackassery overheard a while back that is still in my craw.
You see, it has been the excuse of men through the centuries, to say that men are weak and women are good–therefore it is OUR responsibility, as women, to maintain control because men can’t. Men are pigs. Stinky, rooting about, wallowing in filth, eating whatever is thrown at them, swine.
But what gets under my skin is that WE as women are somehow responsible for their lack of control–that it is for women to sacrifice for the sake of peace.
ANd i call bullshit.
As a student of religion, i have heard and reheard this argument over and over. This is why we sit in a different part of the synagogue or mosque, why we are not necessarily members of the leadership–because (and i love this one) we are somehow CLOSER TO GOD because we give birth, blah blah blah.
[now, before certain of you jump into my shit–yes, birth is miraculous and life changing/affirming. I am in no way denying that. Keep yer knickers on]
Now, i’m not gonna take to task the historical underlying messages here–and they are numerous, from trying to control female sexuality, assuring paternity, and keeping other cavemen off yer women . I am simply going to take this one argument to task. If men are pigs, why are we(as women) punished for it?
Now–to keep the possible rising testosterone at bay, let me point out a few things–or rather what i am NOT talking about. I am NOT talking about dressing like a skank and going into a men’s lockeroom after a game and expecting men to act like complete gentlemen. (even though i would expect my son to act like one ALWAYS, but that is a matter of upbriging and social acceptance, and i am not about to take on that turkey just yet). I recognize the difference between being provocative and self-preservation. That’s not feminism–that’s survival.
For men to feel they have some sort of free pass to say inappropriate things to women they don’t know, and that we have to “accept” it becuase of previous swine references, is the most ludicrous things i’ve ever heard, and makes me kinda stabby.
That blame is placed on women most of the time in any sort of “scandal” involving a celebrity, makes me wanna cut a bitch. (yes–i agree, some of them are skanks. But what BUGS me is that that title is given before evidence is produced)
That somehow it shows a woman’s good breeding if she silently supports her philadering husband instead of getting pissed–which she has every right to do–makes me wanna write angry letters. Ok–that might be understating it a bit–but you understand me here.
Everytime it falls on women to make the sacrifice, or show control or be held back because men lack self control. And it gets under my skin like chiggers.
So while i was ranting on about this travesty–this injustice–my husband (a man’s man in every detail) came up with the perfect solution: If men cannot control themselves, then they are not allowed to carry guns. Only women can.
The simplicity of this plan almost made me weep.
For a man to use a gun, he had to have permission from the female keeper of guns in his life. THat means in the heat of an argument or fight, he has to ask his wife/girlfriend/mama to get her gun out of her purse in order to use it.
it would be the end of war.
Now, of course, i’m not denying that there are some crazy bitches out there that would take this too far and go on a shooting rampage at the local Piggly Wiggly, but for the most part, this seems like a solid plan.
Except for the part where Sarah Palin would still have a gun, but no plan is without flaws…