Repost: Jealousy

I was having a moment yesterday, thinking we’ve been in this stage of development with Ben, it seems, FOREVER, and it was buggin me a little.  And then we all went out for ice cream and it got better.  So here’s some earlier musings on that green-eyed monster…

April 12, 2011

O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.
~William Shakespeare, Othello

Yeah, i’ll admit it.  I’m jealous.The grass is always greener, yada yada yada.  But sometimes, looking at other parents at the park or the mall, i get a little green-eyed.

I see parents ask their kids questions–kids ben’s age or younger, and the child will answer them.  with a coherent answer.  Answers to questions like, what do you want to be for Halloween, or what kind of birthday party do you want?

or, what did you do at school today?

I’m jealous of parents who can reason with their kids, argue and use psychology.  What?  you don’t like green beans?  i hear Brobie likes green beans?  I guess i’ll have to tell him you don’t…

I’m jealous of parents whose kids are in soccer, t-ball, basketball, karate and dance.  That it is a non-issue for them to enroll them wherever and generally watch them have a good time.

I’m jealous of parents who can actually make plans and keep to them, and not have to make game-day decisions on a daily basis.

And then my kid will walk up to me, for no reason, and lean into me, and smile, and tell me “hugs make happy”

and i tell myself those other parents can go fuck themselves.  Because nothing is cuter than that, and their little cross-eyed freaks will never be this adorable.
(’cause i’m a little petty like that)

and i give him a hug, and we go outside to blow bubbles.

Eat it, jealousy.

Categories: Autism, parenting, Snark | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Repost: Jealousy

  1. Sam Heflin

    You know I love you. The respect and admiration I have for you as a mother, a woman, a friend, it brings tears to my eyes and my heart swells.
    It’s people like you, that make me want to try harder everyday to be and do better.
    Ben is lucky to have you…and you him. The thing is, unlike a lot of people, you KNOW it.

  2. Eff ’em all! There is nothing better than hugs making happy. And remember -those little NTs love to tell strangers the family secrets! I was in my son’s kindergarten class when a little girl told me all about her mom’s rash and how her mom tried everything to make it go away. Made me grateful that I have a child who doesn’t talk that much. 😉

  3. LOVE this. Too often I feel the same way, a longing for what other parent’s get to experience with their kids. But like you, I realize that I already get to experience something pretty damn amazing.

  4. Blissfully Discontented

    There is nothing NOTHING more special than that one moment that makes all of the jealousy, anger and frustration melt away. I’m so glad you get those moments…we need them. As seldom as they seem…

  5. I hear you:) Those people can suck it;D

    I try to remember those kids have to almost be perfect to meet their parents expectations. Poor neuro typical kids. They are just going through a dinosaur phase and their parents are already picking out schools to study paleontology.

  6. Marcel Thornbrugh

    for me, green eyes is the most beautiful.^

    Our own web-site

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