Repost: The Return of the Light

12/21/12:  I wrote this a few years ago, but it is a fantastic reminder to myself.  This kid is still my light, and I am thankful for him and his tremendous growth.  He brings a light to anyone who knows him, and i am blessed to be his mother.

Blessed yule, everyone!

December 21, 2010 (the year Ben was diagnosed)
Today marks Yule–an ancient holiday originating in Northern Europe when the people needed a reminder that is can’t stay this dark forever and that eventually, the light will creep into the castle a little too early, and the work day would last a little too long, and they’d be yearning for days of warm fires, mead and a little greenery in the hall. It WAS going to get better. Yeah, it’s been dark for a while, and Sven really needs to slow down on the wenching if he refuses to shower, and those stores set aside for winter need to last. The solstice marks the shortest day of the year, but the following days will get longer. So just take it easy on the mead there, and realize the light will return.IMG_1467I have to admit, even if I didn’t celebrate Yule, this would still be an important time of the year for me. This is also the time of year my son was born. A day after solstice, as a matter of fact. On that first day that had just a little bit more light.

I won’t bore you with cliché analogies about how he is the light of my life (urp). He is, but I try to keep those sentiments to myself, else a large target for the pelting of rotten vegetables becomes visible. So instead, imma take this image in a different direction.

I was commenting to a friend about last night’s lunar eclipse that coincides with this year’s solstice (not visible here in LA though due to this Ark-worthy storm rolling through) and that it’s a great symbol. We must endure the dark in order to revel in the light. And that is what Yule is about. You burn the largest log, you bring green into the hall and you celebrate with those winter stores with those you love and live with. You remind yourselves that it will be warm again. Not tomorrow, mind, but it will warm up.

And really, that has been our journey this year with Autism. It was dark earlier in the year. All I could imagine were the negatives and the uglies. But like a good cask of mead–early intervention, a fantastic pre-school teacher, more “direction” for me and our home activities, and this blog have made the light more possible. And that light that is coming includes even more therapy, the growing of my Autie community of blogger friends and fans, and Benji himself. Everyday he shows more improvement and growth. Everyday, there is a little more light.

Forgive my Wiccan aside here, but I have to share this. When I was pregnant with him, I read my Tarot cards regularly–especially before we knew whether he was male or female. And almost every time one card would come up–the knight of swords: the bearer of the sword of light and truth. That’s how I knew he was a boy–little did I know that card would come to mean so much more. It was a truth that stung, but really, he is that light. As simple as that.

So lift your glasses friends, and gather around the warmth of a good fire. Regale your loved ones with tales of daring and truth, and cherish these times of rest. Do not fear the dark–without it we would never appreciate the light.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got another glass of wassail to spike…

Blessed Yule, y’all.

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